Valerie Mason Chase (for Sonia)

Greetings, I am submitting a letter written by one of the attendees of “A TAMAR Christmas” in December 2015. Her name is Sonia and she is one of the many young women who have been in the foster care system for many years and was on the verge of “aging out” of the system when she attended the event last year. These are her words just as she wrote them. “I have been Traumatized, Abused, Misunderstood and Rejected. I feel like I’m constantly not worth it. I hate what I went through and I hate myself. I went about life saying to myself I’m a disappointment to family, myself and God, There4 would be times I would look up and cry. Apologizing to Him over and over while begging Him to help me. Begging Him to give me strength. Sometimes I beg Him to take me already as well. Liberating TAMAR took me to a place I wanted to go but didn’t at the same time. That was my past. There were moments I wanted to get up and leave. I stayed because as much as I did want to leave something told me to stay (besides the fact I was all the way in New Jersey). I no longer felt like I was the only one who felt the emotions I did. It was akward for me at first. having God spiritually in the same room as me, and at the same time feel like one of his disappointments. I can no longer let my past mold my future and let my predicament define who I am. I can’t leave my wounds open so someone can easily throw dirt in them. I can’t leave them as scabs neither. As scabs their easily picked by being bumped walking down the street, someone talking too loud in your ear, rude comments, or hinting that someone is giving you attitude. Then the scab is torn off and your bleeding again. Everyone has to know that I’m angry by then. Liberating TAMAR has taught me that. It has also taught me that calming down, not giving the usual reaction and letting God help you is more effective than any negative reaction. It shows you’re maturing,taking responsibility and changing for the better. I am creatively made and I’m destined to achieve whatever God has for me. I went through something in life that threw me off. Liberating TAMAT is how I start getting back on boared. I start by Trusting God, Accepting Myself and Rising. I am TAMAR.”